Small Wins Everyday #2

June 2

I confessed.

Or, can say, I acknowledged and accepted today that maybe, maybe… maybe I have fallen out of love with life. That it’s taking a lot emotionally and mentally from my side to love life, people, and relationships in my life, that I might have lost my spark for myself, for my happiness, for my desires. Maybe I am feeling a deep crisis, an identity crisis right now. I am feeling a lot more unfit, misaligned, and lost than I have ever felt. Yes, today I accepted what I have been feeling for days silently. I accepted and acknowledged completely that something is just not fine inside.

But, there is one more thing.

Life, dear life, I just want to say one thing: no matter how I am feeling today, or for the past few days, my heart says I will always choose to fall in love with you. I don’t know how. I really don’t know how. I have no clue right now. No clue at all. But I do know I will always choose you over anything, and everything, and everyone else every time.

I might have cried today over many things that scare me, but tomorrow I will find you with everything I need today. I know. I will choose you. I will choose you again. I am choosing you again this time. And I am assured that you have chosen me as well.

Theek hai, some days we may not get along, but I know you are there, waiting for me to fall in love again. And here I am, quietly falling in for you again.

I have faith. I am somewhere deeply optimistic inside, somehow. Don’t know how, but that side is in there for sure, and it surprises me at times. And I can be a bit creative as well. Maybe this time we will have something special. Looking forward….to quietly, and sometimes loudly, falling in love with you.

Once again.

Yes, once again!