Srishti Kumari

Tag: trauma

  • Is Time Really The Greatest Healer?

    I don’t think so.

    Photo by Cristhian Benitez on Unsplash

    I know it sounds different from what you have heard, but I genuinely think about this sometimes.

    People say that time is the greatest healer. That time heals everything. But, is it really so? Does time really heal everything? Today, I feel it’s not the complete truth. I feel it’s not only about time, but it’s more about us. It’s more about us with time.

    Time can only heal us if we are ready to accept in the first place that we are wounded and we need to heal our wounds. That we can’t carry the trauma of our past wounds to our future selves.

    The acknowledgement of pain, the acceptance of prolonged sadness, and the decision to break the vicious cycle of ruminating over our past, coupled with a good amount of time, surely can heal us. Time alone can’t do much, I feel. The onus is also on us. On you and me.

    I have seen people in their thirties and forties having grudges against their parents. Yes, their emotions can be valid. But for how long are we adults going to behave like giant children and complain about all the bad and terrible experiences we have had with our parents and in our families? For how long? Till the 50s? Till the 60s? Till the 70s? or till 100? Because time alone won’t heal us unless we are ready to forgive and let go of the baggage we have been carrying for years.

    We are not going to become the enlightened ones in our 60s or 70s one day. No, it’s not gonna happen. I have seen even people in their late sixties who still have a few unresolved fights in their hearts with their late parents, and somehow, they never got the chance to heal themselves.

    It’s unfortunate, but true! Are we going to repeat the same cycle? Or will we break this cycle? The decision is ours. Sure, time is with us today to help us. But we can’t get away without doing our part.

    We have to take the responsibility to heal ourselves. Time can only help us a lot, not heal us on its own.

    Well, this is what I think sometimes. What do you think?

    Tell me.

  • Hey Past

    Thanks for being in the past

    Photo by Mykhaylo Kopyt on Unsplash

    Past, thanks. Thank you so much for being in the past. Although you come to me. You come to my mind a lot. Many times, with many unpleasant memories from your shelf, but I am still relieved that you are my past now.

    Yes, the memories stay. The unpleasant ones don’t go easily. The pain, the helplessness, the cries, the judgements, the violence, the abuse, the hypocritical behaviour, the dual standards – they leave a scar. They probably have left a scar on my inner child, and they don’t leave the mindspace completely.

    But I feel there is a good thing. I think you had come so early with so many unpleasant things only to make me aware of the truth, the life, and myself so early.

    Maybe!

    You taught me so many things. That’s true! I just wish I had seen and felt more love also during those times. I am just saying. I wish!

    It’s fine. Whatever happened, happened! You know, you taught me a very important thing. The past is in the past, and will be in the past, no matter how many times I feel the unwanted memories in my present. I can always choose to remind myself that it was in the past, and I am in the present. Always.

    I am in my present, and I can choose my future. Always! Isn’t it liberating?

    The relationship you have for the first twenty to thirty years of your life with your parents, your siblings, your friends, relatives, cousins, and with yourself impacts a lot your mindset and behaviour towards almost everything in life. At somepoint, you have to step up and decide to rethink, renew, and restart your relationship with your life, with the values that deeply satisfy your soul.

    You can’t let the ugliness of the past decades take away all the shine, beauty, life, and magic from the best years of your life that are yet to come.

    Maybe it was the way of almighty to make me come closer to him. Maybe! Maybe the past was just a small bittersweet part of the plan. Maybe!

    Whatever it was, and whatever it is, I am glad it was my past; it was in the past. My present is holding, protecting, guiding, and inspiring me so beautifully that sometimes I think, if this had to come, then I have no more complaints about my past.

    Listen past, you were there to make me see, teach, and understand many things so clearly that my present and future self will always thank you for. I respect the years of learning you passed on to me.

    Thanks. Thanks for being my past. Thanks for happening and staying in the past.

    Today, my present understands you.

    Thank you.