Srishti Kumari

Tag: memories

  • Hey Past

    Thanks for being in the past

    Photo by Mykhaylo Kopyt on Unsplash

    Past, thanks. Thank you so much for being in the past. Although you come to me. You come to my mind a lot. Many times, with many unpleasant memories from your shelf, but I am still relieved that you are my past now.

    Yes, the memories stay. The unpleasant ones don’t go easily. The pain, the helplessness, the cries, the judgements, the violence, the abuse, the hypocritical behaviour, the dual standards – they leave a scar. They probably have left a scar on my inner child, and they don’t leave the mindspace completely.

    But I feel there is a good thing. I think you had come so early with so many unpleasant things only to make me aware of the truth, the life, and myself so early.

    Maybe!

    You taught me so many things. That’s true! I just wish I had seen and felt more love also during those times. I am just saying. I wish!

    It’s fine. Whatever happened, happened! You know, you taught me a very important thing. The past is in the past, and will be in the past, no matter how many times I feel the unwanted memories in my present. I can always choose to remind myself that it was in the past, and I am in the present. Always.

    I am in my present, and I can choose my future. Always! Isn’t it liberating?

    The relationship you have for the first twenty to thirty years of your life with your parents, your siblings, your friends, relatives, cousins, and with yourself impacts a lot your mindset and behaviour towards almost everything in life. At somepoint, you have to step up and decide to rethink, renew, and restart your relationship with your life, with the values that deeply satisfy your soul.

    You can’t let the ugliness of the past decades take away all the shine, beauty, life, and magic from the best years of your life that are yet to come.

    Maybe it was the way of almighty to make me come closer to him. Maybe! Maybe the past was just a small bittersweet part of the plan. Maybe!

    Whatever it was, and whatever it is, I am glad it was my past; it was in the past. My present is holding, protecting, guiding, and inspiring me so beautifully that sometimes I think, if this had to come, then I have no more complaints about my past.

    Listen past, you were there to make me see, teach, and understand many things so clearly that my present and future self will always thank you for. I respect the years of learning you passed on to me.

    Thanks. Thanks for being my past. Thanks for happening and staying in the past.

    Today, my present understands you.

    Thank you.

  • Free Yourself

    And Write Everything

    Photo by Daniel Álvasd on Unsplash

    Sometimes, when you can hear many things at once in your mind, it’s time to free up your mental space. Free it up.

    Take your diary, open your notes app, or go to your blog – wherever you feel safe, and just start scribbling whatever is bothering you. Start scribbling whatever is not making any sense to you. Just start, and it will do its job.

    You don’t have to explain anything to anyone if you don’t want to; you just need to see what’s going on inside your head. That’s it. That’s the whole point. And you know what, you can do it.

    No matter what the world says 1000s of times every day to you, listen to me carefully. Just shut up and listen to me. You are capable of sitting alone with yourself. You are capable enough to listen and talk to yourself without hating an inch of your existence. You can listen to yourself, talk to yourself, solve your problems, take one step at a time, and move ahead in your life with a heart full of gratitude, a mind full of peace, and days full of happiness in your life.

    Today, just sit. Just sit and write. Write your heart out. No order, no structure, no headlines, and no paragraphs. Write your story without any edits. Talk to yourself without any filters. And then, see the magic! You are born to live that magic. Own it.

    Write whatever bothers you. Write whatever uplifts you. Write whatever makes you cry. Write about the things that make you smile. Write to imagine your future. Write to come to terms with your past. Write so that your present becomes more beautiful. Write so your life can be peaceful. Just write.

    Write for yourself. Write to yourself. Write. You will feel good. And that’s the whole point.

    Take care.

  • Shaam ka Naashta

    Rare no?

    Photo by Raghavendra Mithare on Unsplash

    I remember, back in the school days, when I was in an all-girls residential campus, shaam ka naashta, I mean our evening snack was the more or less regular thing just like our breakfast. It didn’t matter what the snack was, be it a fruit, nuts, rusk, packet bhujiya, or sometimes noodles, dhokla with our sometimes not-so-good tea.

    It was a thing back then. When I shifted to Delhi for my college studies and started living with my parents, mealtime just got too erratic. Of course, college timings and late classes were the obvious reasons. Some days, I used to have my breakfast after 11 am and my lunch after 5 pm. It was bad. But that was it. My college years were far from perfect in any sense. Those years were haphazard throughout.

    So yeah, evening snacking wasn’t a specific thing for me then. And after that, I spent many years at my home doing self-study and exam preparations, coaching, etc., and breakfast, lunch, and dinner were the norm. Evening snack became occasional. And it is still now.

    For the last few days, I was asking Abhi(my partner and hubby) to make a chiwra snack for me. In bihar we call it choora ka bhujja. It is the regionally grown flatrice which is then shallow fried in much less oil until it becomes crispy, and then we add finely chopped onions, chilies, and during winters, also fried peas and groundnuts. It can be made in different variations according to taste and the way you want to relish it. We had everything at home that we needed. Abhi knows very well how to prepare it. But. But but but but but, for this particular thing we had to have a day when we both would be free in the evening, and we will have enough time in our hands. In short, you need evenings for an evening snack.

    Thankfully, today was that day. Abhi came home a bit early, and on my request, we managed to finally have our choora ka bhujja with fried peas, finely chopped onions, chillies, groundnut, and a bit of salt for flavour in our shaam ka naashta. Finally!

    I hope that this occasional snacking or shaam ka naashta remains in our lives. I don’t know why. I just want it to be. Maybe because it still reminds me of my childhood, my hostel days, when I used to look forward to it alongwith my friends. Maybe. I don’t know.

    Well, our naashta was really good. I liked the taste. It could have been crunchier, but it’s so sweet of Abhi to just make it for me within minutes. And I loved it that way.

    Happy Snacking!